I have just arrived home after my second day of classes and I am exhausted. I would be lying if I said that I knew it was going to be this incredibly difficult. I understood when I began the process that it would be hard. I could have never known I would feel this awful before I even completed my first week.
This causes so many conflicts in my head. Will I really be able to balance being a mother, student and working a full time job? My confidence is shaky, at best. I know that I am already here and I will give it my all but I need to let go of the ideal of perfection. This is the hardest part for me. I put unrealistic expectations on myself and get so disappointed if I am unable to fulfill my self imposed obligations.
I will learn much in my educational career. The most important lesson I will need to learn before I can hope to continue is that I am human. I have limitations. I was not blessed with a super power that will allow me to go through this experience and feel no fatigue. I am not perfect and can never become perfect. Flawed as I am, I am me.
Today I learned that the people that matter in my life are proud of me regardless of the end result. As long as they are behind me, I should not feel as if I am letting anyone down. That is just the pressure I put upon myself talking.
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